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Jun. 20th, 2008

  • 12:52 PM

im finally home from texas.
and of course i want to go back ASAP.</p>

i love north carolina, i just wish i knew anyone.
hopefully sara is still moving her ass up here.

texas was fun though...too much drinking and alot of hanging out with bethann, haha.
it was nice to see people that i havent seen in like a year.
got a new tattoo, went to the movies a few times, alot of going out to dinner.

so today i guess we are buying rock band and im kind of stoked.
i need a break from halo.

then this weekend seeing the hulk...then next weekend picking up rachel in salisbury.
then maybe seeing tims band in marion...then the week after going to the beach?

my life is very theoretical now. 

because they reallly cant seem to stand the fact that a chick plays halo...
fuck em.

"dude your gay, are you a girl? wait your a girl? girls shouldnt play halo...theyre like...too low to play halo....i bet youre ugly...your pimples have pimples...girls suck...just look at hilary clinton...i know her in real life and shes a bitch...."

WOW gnu21
some people need to eat a dick and read a book.



night night.

me spilling my guts out to joshua...bleh

  • May. 2nd, 2008 at 3:26 AM

vs the Elephant (2:51:23 AM): i dont know. its alot of bullshit. but im going crazy in this town. and I need to get out of here into civilization so i can go to school and find a decent job. but my bf just says we dont have the money to move and hes afraid to find a new job. so it makes me aggitated all the time. i feel stuck.
ezekiel 29720 (2:51:42 AM): im sorry
ezekiel 29720 (2:51:53 AM): dont know what to tell you
vs the Elephant (2:51:55 AM): its ok
vs the Elephant (2:52:01 AM): yeah thats the general reaction haha
vs the Elephant (2:52:05 AM): its just bullshit
vs the Elephant (2:52:09 AM): yay life
vs the Elephant (2:52:09 AM): haha
ezekiel 29720 (2:53:37 AM): yeah it is bullshit
ezekiel 29720 (2:53:55 AM): but we still do what everybody tells us to do
ezekiel 29720 (2:54:21 AM): we're aware thats its bullshit and that were hypocrites but were afraid to change it really
ezekiel 29720 (2:54:52 AM): i mean that everyday cycle
vs the Elephant (2:55:14 AM): yeah
ezekiel 29720 (2:55:19 AM): the routine thing of it all
vs the Elephant (2:55:32 AM): i just feel so goddamned helpless.
ezekiel 29720 (2:55:40 AM): you should be
ezekiel 29720 (2:55:49 AM): everybody should be
vs the Elephant (2:55:49 AM): like i want things to be massively different BUT WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO TO CHANGE IT.
vs the Elephant (2:56:01 AM): im fucking trapped
ezekiel 29720 (2:56:02 AM): exactly whatever you want to
ezekiel 29720 (2:56:17 AM): eh you only think youre trapped
vs the Elephant (2:56:35 AM): yeah. i just wish it was simpler. and i wish money didnt control every situation in my life.
ezekiel 29720 (2:56:51 AM): money sucks
vs the Elephant (2:57:22 AM): and yeah i think im trapped. and in alot of ways i trap myself. like...im perfectly content but reallllly discontent at the same time. FUCK MONEY.
ezekiel 29720 (2:57:38 AM): because i mean essentially you are helpless its just material things and such mak eyou feel different
vs the Elephant (2:57:57 AM): yeah
ezekiel 29720 (2:57:57 AM): i hate money
vs the Elephant (2:58:01 AM): me too
vs the Elephant (2:58:33 AM): i just wish we still had the fucking barter system still or something. like why am i worthless if im broke.
ezekiel 29720 (2:58:57 AM): i wish i had my own farm
ezekiel 29720 (2:59:17 AM): or something
vs the Elephant (2:59:22 AM): yeah.
vs the Elephant (3:01:37 AM): im just tired of being the poor girl.
vs the Elephant (3:01:43 AM): i did it my whole life.
vs the Elephant (3:01:47 AM): i wish it didnt matter
vs the Elephant (3:01:52 AM): but im just tired of that shit
vs the Elephant (3:02:20 AM): i just...i dont want to be rich. i just want to be able to not fucking analyze every cent. fucking money.
ezekiel 29720 (3:02:33 AM): i know exactly what you mean
ezekiel 29720 (3:02:48 AM): whatevs :/
vs the Elephant (3:03:11 AM): yeah wow depressing. man i know why i dont have friends haha.
ezekiel 29720 (3:03:44 AM): what do you mean?
vs the Elephant (3:04:16 AM): haha im just always complaining
vs the Elephant (3:04:35 AM): so no one wants to be my friend because im not johnny goodtimes
ezekiel 29720 (3:04:57 AM): oh yeah thats usually what people say about me
ezekiel 29720 (3:05:23 AM): im the most misanthropic person
ezekiel 29720 (3:05:34 AM): and i usually associate myself with people alike
vs the Elephant (3:06:09 AM): yeah. misanthropes R us.
ezekiel 29720 (3:06:45 AM): yep
vs the Elephant (3:08:30 AM): i think i just operate on some parrallel plane of existence.
vs the Elephant (3:08:39 AM): no one gets it
ezekiel 29720 (3:10:44 AM): yeah

this is the begining of the end

  • May. 1st, 2008 at 4:03 AM

i feel it.
i give up.
no, really.

so im really

  • Apr. 28th, 2008 at 2:54 PM

gary and i are going to have a talk today about some long term plans
because i am going fucking nuts here not doing anything with my life
gwsr girls are being bitches to me
i wonder if they realize its only still in existence because of me

everyone likes to say

  • Apr. 27th, 2008 at 5:44 PM

that it doesnt matter what other people say about them.
and im one of those people.
but someone called me ugly today
and it just bothers me..way at the back of my mind.
worst of all is i dont know who it was
because it was in the gwsr truth box :/

idk. i dont think im ugly.
i wish i wasnt so fat but i mean i have a pretty face
so thats even worse.
someone said it JUST to be negative and just to tear me down

oh well.
im over it
it was rude
and i called them on it


oh and before i forget

  • Apr. 24th, 2008 at 11:15 AM

whats up with everyone getting inked and shoving it in my face
argggggggg i want more tattoooooos!!!!
i at least want to finish my right half sleeve!
gary owes me birthday delights so lets hope he will find it in his hear to let me go get it
ALL done and finished before i venture home in june!
that would rule...so bad.
i just need two or three more flowers and some shading..i doubt ill EVER get them colored just because i dont want
yellow ink on me..i hear it hurts the worst and it will fade like a mofo. im content with greywash. 
i think these are the other two im getting:

(the one on the left)

add it to this one i already have:

and i will be in business.

i think the smaller one will go below the one i have
the other one will be above it and a little on to my shoulder.
then im just going to have some of the torn up petals in the background. 
and maybe get some detail added to the heart, etc.

im also contemplating going back to red hair. i dont think im going to be actively looking for a job for awhile
in going home in june, then ill be in myrtle beach in july...so i may wait until after then.
so i could have red hair for like, almost three months.
and that shit ruled.

and the one last think on my mind....
i wish some people knew the difference.

goooood morning

  • Apr. 24th, 2008 at 10:46 AM

 im in a good mood.
call me crazy but i just feel goood.
if i had somewhere to go...somewhere to be, i would be dressed my best with a smile on my face.

im eating my special K bar as we speak.
those things...they pretty much rule me.
AND i remembered to take my vitaminsssss.

im also in a good mood because thursday means tomorrow is the mothafuckin weeeeekeeeeeend!
im really glad gary has fridays off. three day weekends pwn two day weekends.
BUT i think hes going back to 40 hours in may or something so they wont last long.

so yeahhhh i did ALOT of design work yesterday
and any day i do alot of design work, thats a good day.
and playing halo made it the BEST day.

im too good a mood to REALLY update.
sara and gary and i are going to myrtle beach in july! maybe even july 4th!!!!!
its going to be the best time of my life.
laying on the beach a little tipsy with my boos
what can beat that shit

so i can be annnnnnnoying as fuck
i love it.

i love the office

  • Apr. 21st, 2008 at 10:54 PM

 Dwight: Jim, Jim, Jim. Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.
Jim: Oh, hey, Dwight.
Dwight: I’m going to be your new boss. It’s my greatest dream come true. Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time is now. Check-out time is never.
Jim: Does my room have cable?
Dwight: No. And the sheets are made of fire!
Jim: Can I change rooms?
Dwight: Sorry, we’re all booked up. Hell convention in town.
Jim: Can I have a late check-out?
Dwight: I’ll have to talk to the manager.
Jim: You’re not the manager? Even in your own fantasy?
Dwight: I’m the owner. The co-owner. With Satan.
Jim: Okay, just so I understand it. In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. And you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.
Dwight: Yeah, but I haven’t told you my salary yet.
Jim: Go.
Dwight: $80,000 a year. 

"Bro’s before ho’s. Why? Because your bro’s are always there for you. They’ve got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho. And you told her that she was the only ho for you and that she was better than all the other ho’s in the world. And then…and then suddenly she’s not your ho no mo’. "


so number one: i hate that most of the people i knew in texas forgot i existed. thats a given, but even more than that
i hate the fact that they have no problem forgetting about me UNTIL i say something they dont like, then they have
NO problem bitching at me. or if they want something they have NO problem asking me. WHY THE FUCK would i give 
two shits about what you think or want when we dont even fucking talk? case in point. i post ONE bulletin saying 420
is stupid, and i get some BITCH that i dont even talk to telling me to chill out. uh, do i know you? do i still talk to you?
does your opinion of me or my thoughts matter to me whatsoever? didnt think so.

so number two: i hate that ANYONE can post a bulletin saying anything and its fine, but god forbid i post one saying
420 is stupid. everyone else, feel free to be angry at things you dont like, or even just say you dont like them, and its cool.
me? of COURSE not. because my life is full of bitches who like to re-emmerge when im in a good mood. get fucked.

but whatever. 420 is a made up 'holiday' that supposedly give you a special reason to toke up. but can you just do that 
EVERY other day? thats all i was fucking saying! i dont give a shit if you smoke, thats not my life. so what the hell is so
wrong with that opinion. people wouldnt tell me to chill out if i said it was dumb to celebrate christmas would they?